双语散文:我的初恋

My Very First Love

Yes this may be surprising, I was only 13 years old that time. But, don't know how or why it happened to me so early. I fell deeply in love with a guy, who I used to think was annoying 2 months ago.

It was 1997, in Chittagong, Bang- ladesh, me and my family have just moved to a new apartment in a new area. So, after few weeks have passed, I started going back to school, since it was during Ramadan we moved. Well, I made some new friends in the neighborhood. This girl who was always hanging out with, her name was Ivy.

One day when I was going to school, I bumped into Ivy on the way out of my building, and she was standing next to this guy, he lived in the building right beside mine. He said “Hi” to me, and we just asked each other “how are you” and blah blah, then I had to leave. But I noticed that guy was looking at me. It was a different kind of look, look with love in his eyes. Few days later, I noticed whenever I go to school and come back from school, he is standing in his balcony, and smiling at me. If he is not around, and one of his friends see me, they start to yell out his name. Oh yeah, by the way, his name was Mamun.

So, I was very annoyed by those things. And I even told Ivy to tell Mamun to stop these foolishness. After my exams were over, I had a break. So I used to go to the roof and read books to spend my time. Mamun used to come to their roof also and both roofs where so close to each other that you can just jump from one to another.

Once I was reading a book, and I noticed Mamun come to their roof and he looked at me, and smiled. OH MY GOD! I don't know what happened to me. That sweet smile just took me away. I smiled back at him, for the first time. I could never forget that moment. We used to smile at each other whenever we saw each other, but never had a chat. I was sure that he liked me a lot, because, anytime he would see me on the roof from his balcony, he came up to the roof right away. I fell in love with him very deeply. I was surprised that I did. The feelings I had was so beautiful and made me so happy.

Mamun did come to my roof one day to talk to me but I wanted him to go away. I didn't want any one to see us talking. As you know, in Bangladesh rumors go around so fast. When we talked, I saw deep love in his eyes. I always smiled at him; I didn't talk to him much. Still, life was going on so wonderfully. Mamun never told me he loved me. I thought that was because, I was 5/6 years younger than him.

Very soon, I found out that me and my family are leaving Bang- ladesh and coming to Canada. I was devas- tated. I cried all night but there was nothing to do. When Mamun found out, he asked me on the roof, if it was true. When I said yes, he asked how long will I be in Canada. The answer was maybe forever, we were going to settle in Canada. He looked depressed, all he said was “Oh”, then I told him out flight date.

The next month, it was Ramadan again. Mamun came to say good bye to me on the roof, he was leaving to spend his Eid with his family. That day, I was so sad, I felt like I lost something very important in my life. We said goodbye to each other, he said he thinks I am such a sweet girl, he hopes I have a great life in Canada. Oh my god, I couldn't hold myself, I think my eyes became watery. I didn't want him to see that I was crying. I said “you too” and tried to smile and left the roof right away.

That was the last day I ever saw my first love. Now 4 years later, here I am in CANADA. I have guy in my life now, whom I am deeply love with after Mamun. I never lose him.

I am ... over Mamun now. Everytime I remember those days, looking at each other on the roof, talking, I feel really down. I wonder where he is now, if we will even meet again... I can never forget my first love.

这可能会令人吃惊，因为那时我才13岁。但是，我也不知道怎么那么早就降临到我身上了。我深深地喜欢上了一个男孩，可就在那两个月前我还认为他是个令人讨厌的家伙呢。

1997年在孟加拉国的吉大港，我和家人刚搬到一个新地方，住进新公寓。由于我们是在斋月搬的家，因此过了几个星期，我才开始回到学校上学。我在街坊里交了一些新朋友，总和我一起去玩的那个女孩叫艾维。

有一天，我正要去上学，刚出家门就碰到了艾维。她站在那个男孩旁边，他就住在我们隔壁那栋楼房里。他跟我打了声招呼，之后我们也只是问对方“你好吗”之类的话，然后我就离开了。但我注意到那个家伙在看我，而且是一种别样的眼神，眼里充满爱意。几天后，我发现我每次上学放学的时候，他都会站在阳台上朝我微笑。如果他的朋友看到我，而他又不在旁边，他们就会对我喊他的名字。哦!对了，他叫马蒙。

因此，我对于这些事情也十分恼火。我甚至让艾维转告马蒙停止这些愚蠢的行为。考试结束后我有个短暂的假期，经常会去屋顶看书打发时间。马蒙也经常去他们的屋顶，两个屋顶之间是如此接近，甚至一跳就可以跳到另一个屋顶。

有一次，我正在看书，发现马蒙也来到他们的屋顶看着我笑，哦，天哪，真不知道我怎么了，他甜美的笑容竟然把我迷住了，我不禁也对他笑了，那是第一次对他笑，我永远忘不了那个时刻。以后每次看见对方都互相笑一下，但从来没说过话。我敢肯定他非常喜欢我，因为无论何时他从阳台上看到我在屋顶上，他也马上跑上屋顶。我自己也很惊奇，我竟然深深地喜欢上了他。这种感觉非常美妙，我也很开心。

一天，马蒙来到我家屋顶上跟我说话，但我想让他离开。我不想其他人看见我们说话。你也知道，在孟加拉国流言蜚语传播很快。我们谈话时，我从他眼神里看出他对我的爱恋。我并没有和他说太多话，总是对他微笑。生活照样如此精彩地过着，然而马蒙从来没有告诉过我他喜欢我。我想这可能是因为我比他小五六岁的原因吧。

很快地，我发现我们家就要离开孟加拉国去加拿大了，我彻底绝望了，我哭了整个晚上，可这也无济于事。马蒙知道后，在屋顶上问我那到底是不是真的。我说是的，他问我在加拿大会待多久，我说可能是永远，我们要在加拿大定居。他看起来很沮丧，只说了声“哦”，之后我告诉了他航班的日期。

下个月又到九月斋月了，马蒙来到屋顶上与我道别，他要去和他的家人过开斋节。那天我心里特别难过，我感到我失去了生命里非常重要的东西。我们互相道别后，他说他认为我是一个很讨人喜欢的女孩，并祝愿我在加拿大生活愉快。哦，天哪!我几乎无法克制自己，我想我的眼睛肯定水汪汪的，我不想让他看到我哭了。说完“你也是”，就努力笑了笑，马上离开了屋顶。

那是我最后一天见到我的初恋。现在我已经在加拿大生活四年多了，我的生活中也有了男朋友，他是在马蒙之后我深爱的一个人，我绝不会失去他。

现在，我和马蒙的事已经过去了。每次我回忆起那些日子里，我们在屋顶上互相望着彼此聊天，我还是真的感觉很难受。我不知他现在在哪儿，我们能否再见到彼此……但我永远忘不了我的初恋。

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